Letting Go
I was in rage as I went after the driver who cut me off. I honked at him, run parallel with him and showed him some choice finger signs. He was angry, too. He furiously drove past me, called me some choice names, gave me the same choice fingers and then suddenly slowed down in front of me before speeding off. It was a miracle I did not hit him from behind, but as I almost did, I came back to my senses. I stopped my car in the curb and asked myself “Lord, what am I doing?” And I started to pray.
I came very close to hitting the other car. I could have hurt him, damaged the cars (his and mine) and hurt myself. Would all of those possibilities have been worth it, just because he cut me off?
We let little things get into us. In our sense of what is fair and unfair, we react with anger when we feel we have been unfairly treated. In our rage, we are unable to think clearly, and when we are not thinking clearly, the worst things happen.
We make a big deal of everything, when in fact not everything is a big deal at all. So he cut me off, what did I lose? What did he gain? A few inches? A few feet? So what? He was a jerk for cutting me off, but I was a jerk for trying to get even!
My nephew Joshua and his twin sister, Justine went to a classmate’s birthday party one Thursday night. The party was to start at 4:30 pm, but they did not get there until close to 6:00 pm because their mom (my sister) came home late from work. When my sister picked them up, they were hungry because they did not get to eat. My sister was angry but the kids were not. They told their mother that they were late and the hosts have already served the pizza before they arrived. They had some cake and got to play with their classmates and that was alright with them. Now, on the way home, they were just hungry.
I was teasing the twins when I saw them after that. It was heartening to see how they did not feel any animosity nor unfairness with what had happened. What good and understanding hearts they have! And yet, both my sister and I were fuming because we both know (sic) that you don’t invite anyone to a party unless you are able to feed them, especially children!
We each have a compass of what is right and what is wrong, and when we feel we are wronged, we feel angry and we want to get even. My sister told the twins they will never go to a party of that kid again and both just shrugged and said this is their last year together anyway, so they probably won’t see each other again after this school year!
The point is this – children know how to let go while adults tend to hold it in. They deal with situations, sometimes by crying or fighting back and after that, they move on. They don’t usually hold grudges. They are resilient. They get wounded, but they bind up. They heal themselves and before we know it, they are playing with the same kids they just fought with. What wonderful virtues children have. Yet we “contaminate” them with our biases.
Letting go is something a lot of us can’t easily do. We tend to hold on to whatever hurt us or offended us and we want to get even – we want revenge, even – because we were made to feel bad, or was insulted, or was belittled – whether or not the action was intentional on the offender’s part.
We hold it in that it hampers our ability to be happy. We hold it in that we sever relationships, and deny ourselves of the opportunity to be free of anger, to be free of rage, to be truly at peace. We go as far as sharing our negativities with those around us, and thus making them feel the same anger we have in our hearts. We color their views that they stop seeing the object of our rage with a clean slate, but with the “stain” we have painted.
Jesus said we should learn from the children. When He said “Unless you became one of these, (the children) you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven,” he must have meant the innocence, the trust, the purity and the openness of a child’s heart – the virtues we lose along the way to adulthood.
My hope is for us to let the child in us surface – that child that lets things be, that child that loves no matter what, that child that lets go and moves on.
I came very close to hitting the other car. I could have hurt him, damaged the cars (his and mine) and hurt myself. Would all of those possibilities have been worth it, just because he cut me off?
We let little things get into us. In our sense of what is fair and unfair, we react with anger when we feel we have been unfairly treated. In our rage, we are unable to think clearly, and when we are not thinking clearly, the worst things happen.
We make a big deal of everything, when in fact not everything is a big deal at all. So he cut me off, what did I lose? What did he gain? A few inches? A few feet? So what? He was a jerk for cutting me off, but I was a jerk for trying to get even!
My nephew Joshua and his twin sister, Justine went to a classmate’s birthday party one Thursday night. The party was to start at 4:30 pm, but they did not get there until close to 6:00 pm because their mom (my sister) came home late from work. When my sister picked them up, they were hungry because they did not get to eat. My sister was angry but the kids were not. They told their mother that they were late and the hosts have already served the pizza before they arrived. They had some cake and got to play with their classmates and that was alright with them. Now, on the way home, they were just hungry.I was teasing the twins when I saw them after that. It was heartening to see how they did not feel any animosity nor unfairness with what had happened. What good and understanding hearts they have! And yet, both my sister and I were fuming because we both know (sic) that you don’t invite anyone to a party unless you are able to feed them, especially children!
We each have a compass of what is right and what is wrong, and when we feel we are wronged, we feel angry and we want to get even. My sister told the twins they will never go to a party of that kid again and both just shrugged and said this is their last year together anyway, so they probably won’t see each other again after this school year!
The point is this – children know how to let go while adults tend to hold it in. They deal with situations, sometimes by crying or fighting back and after that, they move on. They don’t usually hold grudges. They are resilient. They get wounded, but they bind up. They heal themselves and before we know it, they are playing with the same kids they just fought with. What wonderful virtues children have. Yet we “contaminate” them with our biases.
Letting go is something a lot of us can’t easily do. We tend to hold on to whatever hurt us or offended us and we want to get even – we want revenge, even – because we were made to feel bad, or was insulted, or was belittled – whether or not the action was intentional on the offender’s part.
We hold it in that it hampers our ability to be happy. We hold it in that we sever relationships, and deny ourselves of the opportunity to be free of anger, to be free of rage, to be truly at peace. We go as far as sharing our negativities with those around us, and thus making them feel the same anger we have in our hearts. We color their views that they stop seeing the object of our rage with a clean slate, but with the “stain” we have painted.
Jesus said we should learn from the children. When He said “Unless you became one of these, (the children) you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven,” he must have meant the innocence, the trust, the purity and the openness of a child’s heart – the virtues we lose along the way to adulthood.
My hope is for us to let the child in us surface – that child that lets things be, that child that loves no matter what, that child that lets go and moves on.
posted by PHLOR TORREJOS at 12:56 PM
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