Choices

Choices are hard - especially when we have to make them. It was easier when someone else made them for us as kids. But we grew up, we found out we can make choices and we started to, felt empowered and thought it was good - until we realized choices came with strings - responsibilities and consequences.

But that's another story. There are other things we make choices about - like how to react to people, situations and emotions. That's where I am today.

I thought about the melancholy that engulfed me yesterday. It was not a choice. It was the culmination of different emotions that suddenly collided and had to be dealt with - Barb's bout with breast cancer, my own niece's death from the same cancer this year, and the 20th anniversary of my brother's death from side-effects of radiation from cancer treatment. It is amazing how one's emotions could affect one's physiology. I did not realize until after we parted how much Barb's situation affected me. It reminded me of emotions I have not processed because of logistics that needed to be taken care of at the time, and I was the one to do them. I have not cried enough for my niece and brother. I grieve for them. I mourn them. I miss them. I love them.

I chose to have a good day today. I still have some shards of sadness but even the damp, cloudy and seemingly gloomy day will not make me go into the same tailspin I experienced yesterday. Even if I will be attending a funeral service for someone at noon today. My choice is to have a good day, no matter what.

NOTE: The Kokanee Salmon make no choices. They follow their destiny as is written by the one who created us all. The picture is of the Kokanee Salmon Run at Taylor Creek in Lake Tahoe. See these links for more information about the Kokanee Salmon Spawning season: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLm1zm_nnn8. http://kidsgowest.com/2010/09/20/spawning-kokanee-salmon-at-lake-tahoe/