Lessons from Pain

Pain is an amazing teacher. I know. I've learned a lot from it. It has made me appreciate things I have taken for granted before. It has made me a better person. It has made me stronger . I respect pain. I live with it.

I had an arthroscopic surgery on my right knee two weeks ago. I have refused my doctor's prescription for pain killer. I dealt and still deal with as much pain as I can bear. For the first week, I had a heavy and tight bandage on my right knee and that I had to sleep like a corpse - still, on my back. I could not bend my knees. Moving or turning was out of the question. Both knees and legs were heavy. It was really difficult.

At the end of the first week, I was actually able to turn on my left side in bed. I was surprised at how good it felt. It was a simple act, but being unable to turn on either side for 6 nights made me realize how wonderful it is. My back ached from lying still and straight the previous nights. A little turn made all the difference in my comfort level. Pain made me appreciate this little act better.

We all deal with pain. Whether it is pain of the body or pain of the heart, it happens. We could either deny the fact that we are hurting, numb the pain with substances, and pretend it's not there or we could allow ourselves to feel the pain, recognize it, and bear as much as we could. Pain can tear us, but it does not have to break us. If anything, it makes us stronger. Time heals - a little every day - but it gets better.

It has been 15 days since my surgery. My knee, and the rest of me - body and spirit - get better everyday. I attempted to rush the healing process, but my body does what it wants to do in its own time, in its own pace. Easy does it. Little less pain everyday. Nothing more, nothing less. It gets easy, it gets more bearable, it gets less painful.

I am using the cane less and less. Pretty soon I know I will not need it anymore. I will never be able to run up and down the stairs again, but I know I could negotiate them with less pain, using both legs.

Pain will not go away. It will only become more bearable. Wounds heal but the scars remain. I wear my scars as badges of honor - that I survived, that I am still whole, albeit imperfect.

Pain calls our attention to our imperfections. It makes us realize that we are still okay inspite of it.

I do not wish you pain, only the wisdom of lessons learned from it.