Generosity and Dimples
What has dimples got to do with generosity? I am not talking about dimples on one’s cheeks, although he has them. I am talking about Rufino Vallesteros II or for us who know him - Dimples or Biloy (dimples in Tagalog). I love this man and I will tell you why.
In my posting “Unconditional,” I spoke about giving and generosity. Compared with Dimples, I am stingy. Here’s a guy who literally gives the shirt off his back. We talked for hours after he read my posting. He explained to me why he does what he does.
First, let me tell you what he does. Whenever he goes home to the Philippines, he is always ready to give away everything he has, to his wife’s dismay (no, he hasn’t given her away.) He has a lot of friends and relatives back home who are always waiting, ready to strip him clean when he comes.
Dimples has always been generous. He, too, was under the tutelage of Mrs. H, who instilled in us the importance of service and giving. Even as a youth leader and with nothing much in terms of material things to give, Dimples gave of himself generously. We were in the same exchange program in 1975 and traveled in Canada together. To us, he was this big brother, leading us and helping us when we need assistance. (To others, he was this big flirt we dubbed “Chancing Casanova.” That’s his other generous side)
Dimples entered the military service when he came to the US and was injured on the job a few times. He did not see combat action but he traveled the world and witnessed things not easy to make sense of. It was not a surprise that when we caught up with each other again in the mid-80’s he was working as a social worker at the Veteran’s Hospital. He had the heart, and had always been good at calming people down.
He took his family back to the Philippines because life was better and simpler there, and they could live comfortably with less stress. He also wanted to go back to school and continue his interrupted pursuit of Veterinary Medicine. He still had enough GI bill grant that could support that. His family settled in Morong, where his wife Vilma is from, opened a restaurant with a captive market. He rented an apartment in the city where he stayed when he was attending classes at the university.
He laughed as he related to me how bad he was as an older student. How his classmates called him “Tatang” (literally – father, but also used to refer to an old man) and how he was older than the dean. His fraternity, Alpha Phi Omega (APO) is one of the oldest, biggest, and most influential fraternities in the Philippines and all over the world. Alpha Phi Omega International Service Fraternity is a collegiate service organization based on the principles of scouting movement and its primary goal is to provide humanitarian services. As one of the APO “elders” at Araneta University, even the faculty members deferred to him.
He spoke of how he would have these young bucks do his homeworks for him, of how they would always end up in his apartment where they ate his food and used his things. He fed them, inspired them and taught them things they would not learn in school.
Many times Dimples would visit his hometown of Baras fully clothed and later come home to Morong in flip-flops and old shirts or shorts. He believes is it not easy to ask for something from someone. There is some humility involved there. Asking for his shirt, or shoes, or anything he wears is something his friends and relatives do, because for the most part, they need them, but could not afford to buy them.
In some cases, he thinks a person who asks for something just wants something that belonged to you to remember you by. He has this well-off friend who visited with him after has given away almost everything that he had from the States. Dimples ended up giving his friend his underwear!
In September last year, we had a mini-reunion in Las Vegas. Emmie flew in from Switzerland and met up with Toti, Nennette and me. Together we drove to Las Vegas where Dimples was already waiting for us. We rekindled old friendships, updated each other with current family situations and just literally picked up where we left off.
Having dinner at Ceasar’s Palace at 2:30 AM and staying up until 5:00 AM is something none of us have done for a long time. There is a lifetime between our teens and now. We spoke of children in college, spouses to answer to and a whole new lifestyle that was very different from the one we shared that magical time in 1975 in Canada.
Dimples made our reunion special with stories he shared with us and the Magic Karaoke he brought with him. Never mind that he was off-key at times. What’s a little broken ear-drum among friends, huh? We sung, we gambled, watched a show, ate and just became the same old folks we were 30 years ago, only older. Again, Dimples was this big brother - this time, teaching us how to play roulette, making sure we were comfortable and that everyone was having fun. Of course, he and Toti had a date with Remy (Martin, their favorite cognac) too. We didn’t mind. We were all there reminiscing together and Remy kept Dimples and Toti livelier.
Generosity is a gift that comes from the heart. Dimples has always been a generous person to a lot of people because he just is. You know how people we allow to be part of our lives affect us, either in a good or a bad way?
I am lucky Dimples is part of my life because he influences me in a good way.
In my posting “Unconditional,” I spoke about giving and generosity. Compared with Dimples, I am stingy. Here’s a guy who literally gives the shirt off his back. We talked for hours after he read my posting. He explained to me why he does what he does.
First, let me tell you what he does. Whenever he goes home to the Philippines, he is always ready to give away everything he has, to his wife’s dismay (no, he hasn’t given her away.) He has a lot of friends and relatives back home who are always waiting, ready to strip him clean when he comes.
Dimples has always been generous. He, too, was under the tutelage of Mrs. H, who instilled in us the importance of service and giving. Even as a youth leader and with nothing much in terms of material things to give, Dimples gave of himself generously. We were in the same exchange program in 1975 and traveled in Canada together. To us, he was this big brother, leading us and helping us when we need assistance. (To others, he was this big flirt we dubbed “Chancing Casanova.” That’s his other generous side)
Dimples entered the military service when he came to the US and was injured on the job a few times. He did not see combat action but he traveled the world and witnessed things not easy to make sense of. It was not a surprise that when we caught up with each other again in the mid-80’s he was working as a social worker at the Veteran’s Hospital. He had the heart, and had always been good at calming people down.
He took his family back to the Philippines because life was better and simpler there, and they could live comfortably with less stress. He also wanted to go back to school and continue his interrupted pursuit of Veterinary Medicine. He still had enough GI bill grant that could support that. His family settled in Morong, where his wife Vilma is from, opened a restaurant with a captive market. He rented an apartment in the city where he stayed when he was attending classes at the university.
He laughed as he related to me how bad he was as an older student. How his classmates called him “Tatang” (literally – father, but also used to refer to an old man) and how he was older than the dean. His fraternity, Alpha Phi Omega (APO) is one of the oldest, biggest, and most influential fraternities in the Philippines and all over the world. Alpha Phi Omega International Service Fraternity is a collegiate service organization based on the principles of scouting movement and its primary goal is to provide humanitarian services. As one of the APO “elders” at Araneta University, even the faculty members deferred to him.
He spoke of how he would have these young bucks do his homeworks for him, of how they would always end up in his apartment where they ate his food and used his things. He fed them, inspired them and taught them things they would not learn in school.
Many times Dimples would visit his hometown of Baras fully clothed and later come home to Morong in flip-flops and old shirts or shorts. He believes is it not easy to ask for something from someone. There is some humility involved there. Asking for his shirt, or shoes, or anything he wears is something his friends and relatives do, because for the most part, they need them, but could not afford to buy them.
In some cases, he thinks a person who asks for something just wants something that belonged to you to remember you by. He has this well-off friend who visited with him after has given away almost everything that he had from the States. Dimples ended up giving his friend his underwear!
In September last year, we had a mini-reunion in Las Vegas. Emmie flew in from Switzerland and met up with Toti, Nennette and me. Together we drove to Las Vegas where Dimples was already waiting for us. We rekindled old friendships, updated each other with current family situations and just literally picked up where we left off.
Having dinner at Ceasar’s Palace at 2:30 AM and staying up until 5:00 AM is something none of us have done for a long time. There is a lifetime between our teens and now. We spoke of children in college, spouses to answer to and a whole new lifestyle that was very different from the one we shared that magical time in 1975 in Canada.
Dimples made our reunion special with stories he shared with us and the Magic Karaoke he brought with him. Never mind that he was off-key at times. What’s a little broken ear-drum among friends, huh? We sung, we gambled, watched a show, ate and just became the same old folks we were 30 years ago, only older. Again, Dimples was this big brother - this time, teaching us how to play roulette, making sure we were comfortable and that everyone was having fun. Of course, he and Toti had a date with Remy (Martin, their favorite cognac) too. We didn’t mind. We were all there reminiscing together and Remy kept Dimples and Toti livelier.
Generosity is a gift that comes from the heart. Dimples has always been a generous person to a lot of people because he just is. You know how people we allow to be part of our lives affect us, either in a good or a bad way?
I am lucky Dimples is part of my life because he influences me in a good way.
posted by PHLOR TORREJOS at 1:33 PM
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