True Friendships

My posting "Enduring Friendships" made my friend Mel think of our own relationship. I would like to quote her here:

" I really love the scent of spices. I could picture it clearly, feel like I am there myself. I guess, I just prefer stories with the points short and direct. I look forward to reading your entries always. Makes me know more about details in your life. Makes me also realize that I hardly know anything about you anymore. Which is probably why Enduring Friendships made me a bit sad. Not in terms of the story of your friend because it is a success story, but taken more in the light of our own friendship. Distance does not really do much for relationships right? No matter if you connect by mail or e-mail. There is nothing as binding as experiencing things together. You have lived your life over there with a new set of firm friends, and mine or ours went on here. All we have is a connecting link called "getting in touch somehow" which really is such a fragile connection. It does not really convey the entire gamut of stuff that goes with friendships. Just felt that with life going on in utterly opposite directions, would that still mean friendship? Or are we just being stubbornly loyal to the idea that once we were friends? Or is it, once friends, friends forever regardless of time or distance?"

It makes you think, doesn't it? How many people are we missing out on? How many friendships have fallen by the wayside because of one reason or another? How many experiences we could have shared were not shared beause we got lazy or we forgot or we stopped caring or any other lame reason? How many times have simple and stupid misunderstandings prevented us from sharing something funny, or sad or poignant -- the very essence of friendship?

Much of what remember with our friends are the SHARED EXPERIENCES. Whether it is in person, texted, IM'd, emailed, or phoned, it is the sharing that really matters. Through it, we take our friends with us and allow them view the same experience through our eyes.

Now I understand better why my mother loved the letters I wrote for her daily when I first travelled to Canada. She saw and experienced Canada through me and with me.

I emailed Mel back and I am sharing with you my reply:

"Thanks for reading my blogs and thank you for pointing out something very important. The once or twice a year letter or email does not really suffice or compensate for the physical absence, indeed. I missed out on your company as well, and Agie’s and Mattie’s, and Ernie’s, yes and even what’s his name, ah, Conrad Bilbao.

We were these young and idealistic writers and artist who at a given point in our lives had the opportunity to establish bonds. I know in my heart how much I value all the time we spent together – sharing our personal and professional lives, helping and challenging each other.

I still miss our creative sessions where we write or talk about simple stuff and see what comes out. I miss the coffees after work or the few nights we went out dancing. It’s funny that I could not bring myself to writing about CFA yet, as that is the next chapter in my life. It could be because deep in my heart, I mourn the missed links.

We were not ONCE friends, Mel. We ARE. The love and affection will always be there."

And the sharing will continue through my blogs....