Kaye

If I had a daughter, it would be Kaye. I saw her the day she was born and she grew up right before my eyes. I saw and shared her highs and lows, her ups and downs. I shared the same worries and uncertainties with her parents. Kaye is one of my sweethearts. She is all grown up now. As she strives to make her mark, pursue her career and future, I, together with her parents, take pride at how hard she worked and how far she's gone.

I met her new beau, Alvin, yesterday. He is a big boy, not a chipmunk like his namesake! After I made a friendly threat that he needs to take care of my baby, all I could think of is this girl who used to climb on my back and called (and still does)me "Ninang" and who, together with her brother Frederick, would brighten my day.

Kaye's mother, Beng, is a very dear friend. Although she sometimes claims that I love her husband more, I love her so dearly, and I loved her first, before I met Freddie. Beng was very pregnant with Kaye and she and Freddie have been experiencing challenges when we hooked up again as I settled in LA. I had just started working in the valley when she called me and asked me to be Kaye's godmother, which I accepted with delight.

On the day Kaye was born, Freddie called me and told me of the news. I went to hospital after work and met an excited and somewhat confused Freddie for the first time, and I watched him lovingly and pridefully look at his wife and new daughter. I loved him then.

Beng is a wonderful mother and as a dedicated nurse, nurturing comes naturally to her. Freddie was a revelation. I was amazed at how much this man loved his daughter that he would take her everywhere. While we watched many Filipino men with nurse wives take their children to the babysitter so they could play golf or go out with their friends while their wives worked, Freddie was an oddity preferring to take care of Kaye, cook, do the laundry and help out whichever way he could. OK, he would not be as attentive when he was watching sports, but even then, he tried really hard, and I respect this man for that.

Kaye is a bright, loving and sensitive girl. She was two when we moved next to them in that triplex on Woodman. One night, when Lita and I finally convinced her parents that they can go to the movies by themselves and we would take care of their daughter, Kaye asked for a copy of her parents' picture so she could look at it when she starts missing them. The fact is, the kid looked at the picture several times and tried hard not to cry - but she missed them so for that was the first time she was not with either parents.

As next door neighbors in a triplex that shared a backyard and clothesline, almost all summer, we would have dinners together in the backyard. We would be out yelling for all the parties to come out with their respective food and accoutrements. It was like a summer-long picnic and we would stay there, share our food and our lives until it got dark or one of the kids started fussing. Kaye and Frederick grew up thinking that that's how things were supposed to be. For their first few Christmas and New Year's eves, they got used to seeing us come in through their back door and personally greet them and deliver their presents. On the first Christmas after they moved out, having bought their first home, the kids wondered what was taking us so long to come, until finally they asked their parents - "When are they coming?" and Beng and Freddie had to explain that we were not coming that night as we were not just next door anymore. That was the first time they felt the fangs of separation.

As toddlers, Kaye and Frederick were enrolled at a summer school next to the University where I worked. That whole summer, I picked them up from school, I took them to my office and had my staff play with them until we had to leave. When we got home (our home), either Lita or I would cook for them their favorite corned beef dish. They would tell their parents our corned beef tasted better than theirs - even though often times, their parents would give us the same canned corned beef that we would cook.

That was the summer when Frederick, who was such a talker at home, would not talk in school and would always have his Ate Kaye to speak for him. Kaye was very protective of her brother that she would automatically do what he asked her to. One day, the teacher talked to Freddie about Frederick wondering if there was something wrong with him and Freddie assured them that one, he could talk and two, he talked a lot!.

When the kids reached school age, Beng and Freddie enrolled them at a local Catholic school. There, the kids thrived, were at the top of their classes academically and went on to be class and student body presidents - with Kaye always leading and setting the bar that inspired her brother and later on Kylene, the third sibling. After junior high, Kaye went on to one of the prime Catholic high schools in the valley. Here was where, with former classmates from junior high, they did some petty but irresponsible actions that led their lives to different directions.

As a natural leader of the pack, Kaye was blamed for most of what had happened although the idea was not hers to begin with. However, what the family was not expecting was the ostracism that the people who they thought were their friends (from the Catholic school) showed them. Beng and Freddie were devastated, Kaye was angry and Frederick and Kylene were confused. This was a turning point in their lives.

This was when Freddie started calling me and Lita his guardian angels as we were there with them as they sorted out how to deal with the situation. This was also when Freddie started praying more and verbalizing his affection for his children more. What seemed like a tragedy turned out to be an opportunity and the family grew closer and became more prayerful and spiritual.

I have long been advocating for the kids to go to public school and it was decided that Kaye would do that - again leading the path that her siblings would later take.

At the Cleveland High School, Kaye's eyes were opened to the many opportunities she did not see at her former school. She was amazed at the points of view being presented, at the advantages available for those who wanted to make a difference, at how parochial her views and world had been before Cleveland.

She went on to be a member of the swim team, took AP classes and soaked herself in all the activities she could take part in. She also learned that she needed to work harder as the competition in academics and extra-curricular activities were more intense and challenging - but very rewarding. She told me a few times that she wished she had gone to public school earlier on as she could have done better and could have been more prepared. Many times, when Kaye and I would talk about those "dark days" I would remind her of what I told her and her parents - the best revenge is showing them how successful Kaye can be - and indeed, Kaye had her sweet revenge.

Kaye went on and graduated from UC Riverside where she exhibited the same leadership qualities while still managing to excel academically. She planned, organized and executed activities and events like a pro and worked with Student Affairs - the same department that wanted to absorb her after graduation. Her parents would say she took after me and I would always tell them it was genetically impossible - but indeed, by fate, Kaye and I share a passion for similar interests and avocations.

Beng and Freddie would always tell me how I had been an inspiration to their children. The other side of that is how they, as a family, had filled my heart with purpose, love and affection.

Kaye now works with a local costume company while she is starting her own chocolate specialty company together with her mother. It amazes me how this same child I held in my arms on the day she was born is a grown woman now with whom I can talk about anything and everything, but still remain my baby.

Yeah, if I had a daughter, it would be Kaye.