Recalibration

Calibration - v. - to fine tune, adjust, correct or set.

I have bronchitis. I don't remember having had one before. It is annoying. I can't sleep well. My throat hurts. My stomach hurts (from coughing). My voice sounds funny and I can't sing.

It started as a sore throat on Monday last week, became what I thought was the early symptoms of the flu on Tuesday, got worse by Wednesday, even worse on Thursday (so I stayed home), I thought was better on Friday, but did not get any better by the weekend so finally on Monday, I went to urgent care and the doctor diagnosed me with bronchitis. He gave me three prescriptions: an inhaler, good ol' antibiotics, and cough syrup with codeine to help me sleep. In the meantime, he was worried about my blood pressure as it was unacceptably high (166/107) and after checking what over-the-counter medications (Mucinex DM and Sudafed) I was taking, told me to stop taking them as they were actually a dangerous combination. He also said he was surprised I was still standing.

So here I am, day 3 since I started with the prescription meds. I am feeling a little better each day. Yes, I am still annoyed with my inability to have a full night's sleep (I take the dosage he prescribed but it does not seem to work. Coughing still wakes me up). My eyebags are sagging more so than before. But then again, today, my voice is a bit more recognizable than yesterday and I know I will sleep better tonight, and even better the night after that and so on. I function, not at 100 percent, but that's OK.

I want to say that I hate being sick, but there seems to be something more to my bronchitis than just that.

For all of you who use a GPS navigator, did you ever notice that when you deviate from the direction that THAT woman is giving you, it gives a written message that reads "RECALIBRATING"? I believe that's what's going on with me. I am just going through a tune-up.

I have been running on 5th gear for quite sometime. Between work (that pays my mortgage), volunteer work (that pays "out of this world") and social obligations (that pays with lots of love), I have not had a lot of time to think of myself. I think my body had been saying something but I had been too distracted to listen, so it found a way to make me pay attention. Hence, bronchitis. Not that it made me stop completely. It did make me slow down, though. I went home early for a few days, actually stayed home one day, I cut down the activities I had committed myself into over the weekend, and I rested as much as I know how to.

I reflected on what is going on. It just hit me this afternoon.

The thing is, I sometimes forget that the world would still go on without me. I may have a lot of responsibilities but they do not need to take over my life. I need to refocus and find a way to manage my time better. I need to spend time to look at all the things I have committed to and evaluate what I can effectively do and what I need to give up or to delegate.

Maybe, when all is said and done, I just need to take a break, even take a nap - to refocus, to recalibrate. Even the most highly sophisticated machines need recalibration. How much more are our body parts? In our rush to accomplish things, we think of ourselves as super-humans and although we have, in the past, been able to perform miracles and surprise even ourselves, we forget we need to pause, to refuel, and to readjust, lest we head for a breakdown.

On a another level, in our own self-conceived invincibility, at the height of successes and triumphs, we tend to get too big for our britches and we forget that all we have, everything we enjoy, the things we have accomplished, the material things we have amassed - these are gifts, graces and blessings. Like the builders of the tower of Babel, we give ourselves all the glory and sometimes even forget God.

The truth is, however high we get, when we forget, God finds a way to show us how small we really are - how weak we really are. In His infinite wisdom, He cuts us down to size, and leads us to what is important; to what really matters; to where true happiness can be found. He tunes us up and leads us back to Him.

And so, my recalibration continues - of all the important parts: the body, the mind, and the soul. I will try to rest my body more; use my mind more creatively; and find time to pray more - and hopefully, be able able to sing my prayers, too.

In the meantime, I need to take my meds and go to sleep. Goodnight!